Condoms are like parents, you’re grateful for their protection, and at times you freak out when they are not there. We just found some bizarre condom confessions on Whisper shared by people.
Read the condom confessions below, and have a laugh:
1. I wanted a sister, so I ripped my parents’ condom. My mom got pregnant with a girl. I can’t even describe how guilty I felt so I told my parents. Years later, my mom thanked me for what I did.
2. I still have the condom wrapper from when I lost my virginity.
3. I dropped a condom in front of my girlfriend’s mom.
4. I accidentally wiped my face with the tissue my husband wrapped his used condom in…
5. Today I put a used condom wrapper into a stranger’s backpack so that my mom wouldn’t find it.
6. I had a blind date the other night so we decided to go to a park. When we sat down on the bench a condom fell out of his pocket and he told me that he picked up the wrong pants from the dry cleaner. I just laughed.
7. I once threw a used condom out of my bedroom window and it landed on my dad’s car. He still doesn’t know it was me.
8. My found an empty condom wrapper in my room and decided to confront me about it. I just told her I was having sex even though me and my boyfriend were just blowing them up like balloons.
9. My ex is coming over for a visit. I took a condom out of the wrapper, filled it with lotion, and threw it in the bathroom trashcan just so he’ll see it and get jealous.
10. Hooked up with a guy when I was drunk. Found a condom in me 4 days later…
11. One time I forgot to take the trash out after sex and my dog swallowed the condom. Found out the next day how truly indestructible condoms are.
12. You have never known disgust until you’ve stepped, barefoot, onto your brother’s used condom.
13. My boyfriend deserves a medal. He stepped in the middle of sex saying it was feeling too good, pulled out to discover that the condom broke.
14. He said: You’re on birth control, right? Because I don’t wanna wear a condom.
I said: Bye Felicia.
15. Before my friends come round I leave open condom wrappers laying around so they think I’m cool.
16. Just cut my boyfriends dick with a condom wrapper. Well, looks like we’re just netflixin with out the chill tonight.
17. My dad posted a picture of his “condom challenge fail”. It was a picture of me.
18. I’m a nurse. last night I hooked up with a random guy at a bar. The condom broke, and I didn’t think much of it. Today I checked him in as a patient for an STD. Great.
19. I’m a librarian and when I see a hot guy I slip a condom in a book and tell them to go to that page. I’ve hooked up with 8 guys doing this.
20. When I masturbated I put a condom on my hair brush. I feel like it makes it feel realer.
21. I love the feeling of being penetrated without a condom.
22. I accidentally chocked on a condom yesterday when I tried to put it on the guy with my mouth.
23. Whenever a guy wants to have sex without a condom. I pretend to get excited and talk about having children with them. Just to freak them out.
24. My wife cheated on me so the next time we had sex, I put hot sauce on my condom.
25. Secretly want to poke holes in all the condoms so I can get pregnant. I want to have his kids already…
26. The feeling of such intimacy when you’re looking her in the eyes as you put it in without a condom…Uuggh I miss it.
27. The condom broke, I finished inside… It was a one night stand and we didn’t even exchange numbers… this is a weird situation.
All of the above confessions have been taken from whisper.