Considering we have more men as stand-up comedians than women in India, you’d be certainly convinced that women in our country aren’t that funny. But those who are quite active on Twitter would certainly know otherwise! As women are making their mark in every field, how can humour be left behind? One tweet after another, Indian women are nailing it, cracking absolute gems in 140 characters or less. And unlike stand-up comics, they don’t need a stage for the (online) world is their oyster!
Sit back, relax and laugh appreciating these woman for their tweets:
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1.
The woman on Google Maps voice navigation keeps switching between an American accent and an Indian accent. Must be from Bandra.
— 🙃 (@NotPriyanka) June 9, 2016
2.
How to be a MUN kid:
– serious dp with laptop
– fb statuses on social issues
– i’m-better-than-you attitude
– find hot people at other MUNs— Falguni (@IIFunLoverII) June 14, 2016
3.
Guy1: I love you, please accept this diamond ring.
Me: No.😒Guy2: I love you, please accept dis double cheese pizza.
Me: Yes Yes Yes 😍— Anamika Pal (@MiishNottyAna) March 22, 2016
4.
Every time my relatives ask me about my career goals and my future. pic.twitter.com/uufeMXdtfb
— Purva (@thatobesewoman) July 2, 2016
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5.
Guy: Your boobs are amazing.
Me: Thanks, I grew them myself.— anymysha (@anymysha) December 27, 2014
6.
*unhooks bra*
Happy Independence day to me.— Voodoo (@clumsy_singh) August 13, 2016
7.
Q. How do you pronounce “furniture” in Hindi?
A. Dahej— Karima Sanela Khan (@karimasanela) May 12, 2016
8.
Oh baby make me scream harder
*burns a hole in her Zara dress*
— mediocre gandhi (@mediocregandhi) February 19, 2016
9.
Saw a contact called “Iron man” on Mom’s phone….
Little terrified , I asked her.
She said, “Istri wala bhaiya!” hai
😂😂😂
— The *DEVIL* Twin (@beingtweet) May 22, 2016
10.
“What are you doing with your life?” pic.twitter.com/r14Sde7kB8
— dhara (@Winkerbell_) May 9, 2016
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11.
While we are busy changing names & calling Bombay Mumbai & Bangalore Bengaluru, can we do something about Bhosari here in Pune?
— Protima Tiwary🇮🇳 (@DumbbellsnDrama) February 25, 2016
12.
Didi tera dewar deewanaaaa
Haye ram kudiyon ko kare sexually harass under the garb of archaic tradition giving his actions legitimacy.
— Peglet (@PedestrianPoet) April 8, 2016
13.
Funniest is when a female character in a saas-bahu serial says “Mai tayyaar hoke aati hoon”
Behen, aur tayyar hogi toh yudh pe jaana padega
— Villainiya (@DushtaStree) January 31, 2016
14.
"Toh Kya Ukhad loge?" is something you never say to a Dentist
— Priyanka (@PriyankaLahiri_) June 13, 2013
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15.
Me: it’s raining how to go to school
Mom: Hum pahad cross krke, river mein crocodiles se lad ke, bunjee jumping krke school jate the so stfu— Sheen Millicent (@SuchAMisfit) May 6, 2016
16.
If you’ve to think twice before pronouncing the Brand’s name, it’s definitely going to be expensive.
— Surabhi (@kacchamaggi) January 3, 2016
17.
My niece insists 93 comes after 38. Looks like I’ve found the one who allotted noida its sectors.
— frootifer (@Oinkoo) May 18, 2016
18.
A teacher asked, “What do you get on dividing a cone’s curved surface area by its radius?” Only Payal got the answer.
— Saara (@SaaraZamana) March 20, 2016
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19.
Used so much Fair&Lovely on my face that now I can't even walk down the street without winning sports tournaments or getting job offers.
— Violins on television (@Just_Screams) November 4, 2015
20.
Sharmaji ka beta pic.twitter.com/dBSHQ7xtMi
— Wild Child (@ClassicallyWild) May 23, 2016
21.
If we don't get off the flight within the first 50 seconds of it landing, the flight will take off again with us in it – Indians
— Priyal (@priyal) December 12, 2014
22.
3 stages of having a crush
1. Staring at her
2. Thinking about her
3. Stalking her profile on social media pic.twitter.com/MAyDcqeGH4— nin (@NautankiNinja) March 12, 2016
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23.
When you are trying to concentrate, but guys in the back sing ‘Keh do na Keh do na, You are my Sonia’. pic.twitter.com/afoCmL1Tyg
— TheWeirdIndianGirl (@ZohaShaikh2105) August 4, 2016
24.
Wanted to go out on a romantic dinner date with boyfriend. Can you suggest some nice boyfriend?
— Poulami Sinha (@ThePhoolanDevi) January 4, 2016
25.
Want someone in my life who is as obsessed with me as Kejriwal is with Modi.
— Mo (@LiteraryBadass) June 15, 2016
26.
Everything gets serious after 2AM
1:58 am: *listening to Cheap Thrills by Sia*
2:01 am: *listening to Phir Le Aaya Dil by Arjit Singh
— Nirzary (@nirzary) June 3, 2016
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27.
when only the girl's side has paid for the photographer pic.twitter.com/NyssCDRPdn
— Bruno Fernandes Fan Account (@RootKanal) June 9, 2015
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