The beauty of intimacy is not just in the act but in the moment of being vulnerable as you build and strengthen your bond with your better half. And the First night is suppose to be the beginning of many such nights coming your way. Excitement being a prime emotion around wedding preparations you tend to harbour a piqued nervousness when you hear the phrase ‘First night’ be it your first time ever or not.
And however well versed you are with Kamasutra the question of ‘What should be done?’, ‘What should be told?’, ‘What can turn on your spouse?’, Is still an alien territory.
An ode to the newlyweds to be, I bring you not a sex manual (sorry folks!) but some trivial details on ‘What should be done’ and ‘What shouldn’t be done’ on your first night which has a greater impact than your skills as a good lover.
1.
Do’s – Say what’s on your mind
First and foremost consummating your marriage on the very first night as husband and wife is not a hard and fast rule. It’s practical to be worn out after days of rituals and taking some hours of rest is a better option, for sex would feel good only if you’re relaxed and fresh. So be frank about your needs with your spouse.
But if the two of you still have some energy left to shower on one another then make sure you guide your partner as to what makes you feel good by approving it with a moan or telling it and letting them know if something feels uncomfortable as pleasure can be enjoyed only if it feels right.
Don’ts – Telling your love making fantasies
Say what’s on your mind but first night together as married couple isn’t the time to tell your love making fantasies, a big fat NO if you’re thinking on trying it on your first night. You have forever with each other to make all your fantasies come true.
2.
Do’s – Show some interest
An uninterested look is first on the list of turn offs. After being tired of standing for rows and rows of family photos, a smile on your lips for your spouse won’t take much and surely if you decide just to sleep next to each other then some romantic touch and kisses, with some old fashion cuddling will bring you and your spouse even closer.
Don’ts – Being too eager
To be very much interested in knowing what’s the fuss all about is a given thing but undressing and jumping straight to the bed is a definite no, no! Monica once mentioned there are seven erogenous zones, for Christ sake take it slowly and don’t unravel your interest with haste.
3.
Do’s – Be yourself
Given all the notions about the perfect orgasm to give your partner don’t try things that would define not being yourself. Don’t follow any Love guru’s advice (But follow what I have laid down) just be who you are and don’t limit yourself on the advice rather explore the moment as it presents.
Don’ts – Being too much about yourself
Getting to know each other is a well thought idea for bonding if it’s an arrange marriage but talking about your childhood, your dreams to achieve, your past flings, the number of babies and their names aren’t the topic of conversation to be dealt on your first night.
4.
Do’s – Carry yourself with confidence
Being shy about your body is a natural response but why hide from a person with whom you’re going to spend the rest of your life so remember the mantra ‘confidence is sexy’.
Don’ts – Bossing around
Letting your inner shyness diminish has its perks but don’t go on dictating your spouse’s every move or compel them to do it only on your terms for one sided love making has no benefits.
5.
Do’s – Put some efforts
No couple forgets the night of their wedding to make it a memorable one throw on some music, decorate the room with candle lights and to spice the romantic evening, girls, go out on a shopping spree for the sexiest lingerie and even if you plan on just sipping some glass of wine (or milk) with your hubby make sure to change into a night gown that puts you on the spot light.
Don’ts – Letting your first time impact you
If your first time doesn’t match with the perfect choreographed version in your head then don’t take up an oath of celibacy. Expecting too much from the first love making session with your spouse should be avoided at all cost. The first time will always be clumsy but with time your closeness with your better half will make it a well synchronized pleasure.
6.
Do’s – Set the mood
Begin the nights by exchanging gifts. It can be a bunch of roses or a romantic gift basket. Show that it’s not just about physical connection but also a level of emotional bonding with some sweet words like ‘My heart skipped a beat when I saw you today’, they may roll their eyes on such sappy dialogues but a smile on their lips hearing it is well assured.
Don’ts – Cracking jokes
Flirting with your spouse will definitely set the mood but stay clear from flirting technique that involves jokes and sarcasm. Guys remember that you’re not asking a girl out on a date. Do let this night be about romantic sonnets.
Keeping these Do’s and Don’ts on your finger tip you are a step closer to rock your first night.
